Another Birthday?! | B-Movie Horror Birthday Card

The projector is ready. The numbers on the film countdown tick away, and the screen promises a spectacle unlike anything you’ve seen before. This animated birthday card starts like a trailer for an old American B movie, complete with extravagant warnings and a cast of creatures ready to give the audience a fright. It’s a birthday greeting for someone who loves vintage science fiction, enjoys a good monster movie, or can laugh at the thought of getting a year older.

The opening borrows the look of an old cinema screening. Large numbers appear inside the circles of a film leader, followed by bold English title cards that announce what is about to happen. The lettering takes up the screen with all the confidence of a trailer that has to sell a double feature in a few seconds. Scott Joplin’s Fig Leaf Rag accompanies the action, giving the grand announcements a jaunty rhythm. There’s time to enjoy the setup before the first creature shows up.

A dinosaur looms larger as the trailer warns of an attack by dinosaur robots from outer space. Next, two flying saucers drift past a black-and-white skyline under a bank of storm clouds. Their beams are bright against the city, and searchlights point into the sky. The trailer announces the invasion of the Martian zombies with the same conviction it brought to the dinosaur. By the time a shadowy monster appears, the card has the feel of a compilation of everything that could possibly go wrong in a late-night science fiction movie.

Then the picture goes dark and the warnings become more personal. The title cards insist that there’s nowhere to hide. For a moment, the trailer lets you wonder what could possibly be worse than all those creatures and spacecraft. Its answer is the birthday itself. The joke works because the buildup has been so serious about such ridiculous threats. Suddenly the ominous titles could be describing something as familiar as another candle on a cake. It’s an affectionate way to tease someone who shares your sense of humor about birthdays.

The finale switches from the dark trailer imagery to a burst of comic-book color. A woman in purple throws up her hands, eyes wide and mouth open, and a drawn scream stretches across the screen. The flickering candle artwork brings the birthday back into the picture while keeping the theatrical panic going. This is the face you might make if a monster came through the door, which is exactly why it’s so much fun to see it attached to a birthday wish.

Send this funny birthday ecard to the friend who quotes old movie trailers, the sibling who always makes a joke about their age, or the horror fan who would rather get a flying saucer than a bouquet. The English intertitles are part of the card’s old-movie charm. Your own greeting can play along with the mock suspense or simply wish them a happy birthday after the big reveal. The animation has already supplied the monsters, the scream, and the occasion. All it needs from you is the name of the person brave enough to face another birthday.